Peeping Pence & Pimping Rudy
No Me Digas. Op-Ed: Keith Price
How about this? It has not gone unnoticed that our Vice President has seemed to be hiding during all of this impeachment madness. However, when Ambassador Sondland took to the mic, he started throwing people under the bus.
We heard that VP Pence was aware of certain aspects of this mess from Jennifer Williams, a State Department official and special adviser to Pence on European and Russian affairs. I guess it would make sense for him to try and stay far away from the flames emanating from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
That’s when it dawned on me. If only the president is removed, then Mike Pence becomes the President of the United States, assuming he does not get dragged down with ALL of these impeachment shenanigans. Who will benefit and be more excited about having that possibly closeted, evangelical fanatic, weirdo in the White House? Also, as President of the Senate, Mike Pence is involved in the Senate portion of a most certain impeachment/removal process. Perhaps with the assistance of Myrtle the Turtle, they are reassuring Trump that he has “nothing to worry about”. The Senate is NOT going to let ANYTHING happen to him. Cue the sinister underscoring music.
All of the usual sycophants are making their loyalties known to Trump, including Sen. Collins. I nominate her for the person most in need of a lozenge. And one by one, the Republican senators are paying tribute to The Boss. By continuing to stroke his ego and to bolster his sense of security, THIS allows him to abuse his powers with even more confidence. The House of Representatives says “IMPEACH”. Of course, Trump scoffs at the verdict and makes it clear that he KNOWS the Senate will do the right thing and leave him alone. Tensions flare as the 100 senators/jurors must listen, argue, and vote. Like a good dramatic moment, they sit at their desks, and the yes/no voting moment arrives. Continue the suspenseful undertone music.
For dramatic effect, each Democrat has a sassy moment as most of them vote “yes” for removal. The Republicans purposely wait to start their votes AFTER the Dems. One by one, each Republican says “yes” and then the few who say “no” cause the vote to be tied. Of course, on the split-screen, you can see the face of Trump change from confident to scared. The deciding vote is left in the hands of the VP. The slow-motion camera works to follow his hand to the buttons marked YES / NO. He presses. Wait for it. YES. Cue soap opera surprise background music. He votes to remove the president and then becomes the president. Trump loses, and now he’s forced to deal with his crimes as a civilian.
Now the best part is because the Senate uses up the first quarter of the year running out the clock, it gives President Pence a few moments of power. He thinks that because he did this great thing that he will be divinely rewarded with more. The electorate goes in a different direction, and the Blue Wave washes away the last of that energy. Hopefully, we can rework some of the crazy that has been unleashed in the last four years.
But what about Rudy Guiliani? Almost every witness mentioned his name. It got me to thinking that as a bonus scene, maybe even a Saturday Night Live style music video, Rudy deserves a musical number just like “Roxie Hart” in CHICAGO. I see him pictured in his most famous drag. Slinking across a stage, flanked by a team of chorus guys and gals.
The Name on Everybody’s Lips is gonna be “RUDY”
The guy who almost broke his hip, they call that man “RUDY”
Following in Roxie’s monologue, “I’ll get 2 boys. It’ll frame me better”
“Wait a minute, Rudy! Think BIG! I’ll get a whole BUNCH OF BOYS”
You see where this can go. I call upon the stylings of Randy Rainbow and the platform of SNL to make this happen. In any case, this very scary reality show is in full swing, and we are all hoping to hear the Senate say the words “You’re fired!”
As Part 2 of the impeachment process begins, one can only hope for more surprise moments, like Devin Nunes and his conversations REVEALED, or there may be something to the Biden Family/Ukraine Affair. I would like to remind those who are concerned about how Ukraine has affected the 2016 election, please note that Donald Trump did win. So if they did interfere on Secy. Clinton’s behalf, then they botched it. Perhaps we should try another scenario: Maybe the Russians interfered to undo the Ukrainians’ dastardly plan? Think about it. It could happen. In any case, this Impeachment Reality Show is about to get good, and I just don’t want this part to end like The Empire Strikes Back.
